He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
