Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
