Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
