Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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