Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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