did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
