Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
zippers are such a cool invention
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We have started to decorate penises.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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