I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
