Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
