yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I could fuck to npr.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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