I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I yelled at your uterus for you.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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