I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize