hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
