i would punch a child for taco bell
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
