Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
