I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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