I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize