i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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