I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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