don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
