she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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