my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize