sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
