The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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