I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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