im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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