Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Someone shattered a urinal.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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