she's into porn, im staying here tonight
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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