I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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