on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
