Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
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