Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
