get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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