Did you just see the Batmobile???
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
