It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize