who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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