just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
