I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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