There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
