If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
they're like a gay fantastic four
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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