you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize