she smelled like a LAN party
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
