Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
