Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
