I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
