Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
The air taste purple.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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