your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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