I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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