He had one of those small greek statue penises
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
