Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
