belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
