her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
