I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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