so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
