so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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