You just made me feel so damn special
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
