tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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