you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
