im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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